spicy black bean burritos

Though I might be a bit of a Tex-Mex snob, I am not above a visit to Chipotle on occasion; their barbacoa is the stuff of  legends. But now that I've drastically lessened the amount of meat in my life, I've found myself forced to stick to their black beans, which -- I'm sorry Willie Nelson, I really did love your adorably animated Chipotle commercial -- are bland, boring and nothing to write home about.

This problem is easily remedied by homemade burrito bar. With a little corner-cutting, it doesn't take nearly as long as you'd think: I had this all ready in 20 minutes with the assistance of prepared rice and guacamole.

had to use microsoft paint instead of photoshop for labels,
sorry for the kindergartenness of it...

I, like a total amateur, forgot to put cheese on mine -- there were just too many moving parts. And B, like a total amateur, ate his with a knife and a fork -- this, which borders on dealbreaker territory, is a transgression for which he must thoroughly atone. I'm fairly certain it is the eighth deadly sin.

Recipes for the beans and peppers are below; you can figure out the rest. I used Spanish rice from the box (yes, I am ashamed), 100-calorie burrito-sized whole-wheat tortillas, light sour cream, jarred salsa and pre-made guacamole (stop judging me!) Set everything out separately and frantic burrito assembly will surely ensue.

Throw in a few dishes of slow-cooked carnitas and barbacoa, some chips and queso and, of course, plenty of tequila and margaritas, and these would be the makings of a very fun dinner party.

spicy chipotle-brewed black beans
1 can organic black beans
1 small can chipotles in adobo
1 bunch chopped scallions
Chili powder
Cumin
Garlic powder (embarrassing but true, I was out of fresh garlic)
Tabasco

Mix beans with chipotles in adobo and scallions in small saucepan; use kitchen scissors to cut up chipotles in sauce. Add chili powder, cumin, garlic powder and Tabasco, stir well. Cook over medium heat for five minutes or so, then lower heat and simmer for as long as your stomach can stand it (minimum of 15 minutes, maximum of 1 hour). Serve with a slotted spoon to strain out some, but most certainly not all, of the cooking liquid.

charred peppers and onions
1 green bell pepper, sliced
1 onion, sliced
1/2 TBSP butter
salt & pepper

Melt butter in skillet over medium-high heat. Add peppers and onions and DO NOT stir. Season with salt and pepper and let cook for 4 minutes, then carefully flip over with spatula to char other side.