vegetarian chili mac

There exist in this world three core belief systems with which every Texan must make peace at some point in his or her life. The first is God. The second is guns.

The third is chili.

Chili is the official state dish of Texas. According to Wikipedia (the modern be-all end-all of American history – Encyclopædia Britannica, your number's up), chili arrived with frontier settlers and spread throughout the southwestern United States as a result of San Antonio’s tourism industry.

proceed with caution

But, at the risk of eternally losing my Texas card, the following recipe violates state chili standards in three critical ways:

1) Its usage of beans. An old and quite common state saying goes something like “If you know beans about chili, you know chili ain’t got no beans.” But I can’t forgo them in my recipe. Absent beans, chili lacks the heartiness that so characterizes the dish.

2) Its substitution of veggie crumbles for ground beef. This will be considered sacrilege by many, and I hereby accept the subsequent Facebook defriendings that surely will ensue. But after it’s stewed for hours upon hours, I’m confident that this could survive a taste test among even the most insistent of carnivores.

3) Its mixing of macaroni. Texans serve chili with lots of crackers, lots of cheese and lots, lots, lots of hot sauce; pasta is rarely, if ever, included.

Perhaps from this recipe I’ve learned one thing – just like this chili, my particular brand of Texan may be composed of atypical traits. But sometimes a different batch of ingredients can still create something just as good as the real thing.

vegetarian chili

package veggie crumbles

black beans

canned diced tomatoes with chipotle (if you can’t find these then just add a can of chipotles in adobo)

Shiner Bock

onion

bell pepper

garlic

worcestershire

chili powder

cumin

paprika

oregano

tabasco (or chalula, whatever)

sriracha

crushed red pepper

salt & pepper

1 box whole-wheat elbow noodle (rotini would be good too)

 Slow-cook all ingredients except pasta on high for three to four hours. Cook pasta, toss with chili, top with cheddar cheese and serve with cold beer.